Potty Training with a Twist

Today, the article I wrote months ago on potty training boys came out on the Huffington Post Parents page. I'm so thrilled. It's so nice to see your own name in print (or online...)

You know, having three boys, I FEEL like an expert in this area, just because I feel like I've been potty training for YEARS, and yet I'm still struggling to potty train my youngest boy.

As difficult as it is potty training boys, its ever so much more difficult potty training boys with Autism. I didn't discuss this in my published article, but its something we've struggled with figuring out with two boys now.

I think there are two main hurdles with potty training boys with Autism - the communication barriers and the sensory issues.

With our two sons with Autism, they just didn't have the language to tell me that they were wet or needed a diaper change. It took forever for them to have the words "I have to go potty." It was only after many hours of speech therapy and potty practice that the words came and were used at the appropriate times.

Our oldest son wore Pull-Ups on his first day of kindergarten, just because he wasn't quite all-the-way potty trained. I was afraid he wouldn't tell the teacher he had to use the bathroom and pee his pants. And with his social difficulties, I didn't want him to immediately become the "pee pee boy" at school, the one who peed his pants all of the time. (He eventually became comfortable with the bathroom at school and was in undies by the time November rolled around.)

And the sensory issue. How difficult is it to potty train boys who may or may not be able to feel the urge to pee or poo? Or tell when they are wet? Without the language piece, how can you tell if they are feeling it or not?

I've had so many discussions about potty training with other parents of kids on the Spectrum and one thing is for sure: there is no reliable time-table. No "tried and true" method that will work with every kid. It's as individual as each kid with ASD.

And just know that your frustrations are valid and felt by so many other parents going through the exact same things as you are. Just keep trying. Gently trying.  It's all you can do.